Open When Letters: 62 Ideas and 8 Example Letters

What are open when letters and how do you make them?

Open when letters are a set of sealed letters, each with a short instruction on the envelope, like “Open when you miss me” or “Open on your birthday”. The person you give them to keeps the set and opens each letter only when its label comes true.

They are made for the times you can’t be there in person: a long-distance relationship, work abroad, military service, a first term away at university or a long stay in hospital. Each letter is you, turning up at the moment you’re needed.

How to make a set of open when letters

1. Decide how many. Eight to twelve is a good first set. It’s enough to last a few months, and few enough to write each one with care. You can always send more later.
2. Choose the labels before you write. Pick a mix from the ideas below: some for sad days, some for happy ones and a few for dates you know are coming.
3. Use plain envelopes and write the label big. Any envelope works. Write “Open when…” clearly on the front so it can be read at a glance on a hard day.
4. Write each letter for its moment. A bad-day letter should comfort, not cheer. A birthday letter can be loud. Read each one back and check that it fits its label.
5. Put one small thing inside. A photo, a tea bag, a pressed flower, a list of songs or a sweet. Keep it flat so the envelope still closes.
6. Add dates to the “open on” letters. For birthdays and anniversaries, write the date on the front so nobody opens them early.
7. Keep the set together. Tie them with string or ribbon, or keep them in a small box, tin or folder. Put a note on top with the rules: one at a time, and only when the label is true.

If you live in different countries, hand the set over the last time you see each other, or post it in one parcel a couple of weeks before it’s needed. Post can be slow, so give it time.

62 open when letter ideas

Each idea below is the label for the envelope, then a line on what to put inside. Mix and match them, and swap any [bracketed] part for a real detail of your own. Full example letters for eight of them are further down the page.

Open when letters for sad days

1. Open when you’ve had a bad day. Tell them the day is over now, and tuck in a tea bag or [their favourite sweet] for tonight.
2. Open when you feel like giving up. List three hard things you have already watched them get through.
3. Open when you’re sick. Write your own doctor’s orders: water, sleep, [their comfort film], and soup the next time you’re together.
4. Open when you feel alone. Name the people who love them, put yourself at the top, and say when they can call you.
5. Open when you need to cry. Give them permission to let it all out, and fold a clean tissue inside.
6. Open when someone has hurt you. Write down what you see in them that nobody’s careless words can change.
7. Open when you don’t feel beautiful. Describe what you notice when you look at them, from their face to the way they treat people.
8. Open when you’re homesick. Add a photo of home, or the recipe for a dish that tastes like it.
9. Open when we’ve had a fight. Write it on a calm day. Say sorry for your part and remind them you’re on the same side.

Open when letters for happy days

1. Open when you’re happy. Ask them to call you straight away, because you want to hear it in their voice.
2. Open when you get good news. Write “I knew it” in big letters, then tell them why you never doubted them.
3. Open when you pass the exam or get the job. Congratulate them in advance and suggest a way to celebrate, like [a meal at their favourite place].
4. Open when you’ve had a great day. Ask for every detail: who they saw, what they ate and what made them laugh.
5. Open when the sun is out. Send them out for a walk to [a park or beach they love] and ask for a photo.
6. Open when you’re proud of yourself. Tell them you’re proud too, and list the other times you felt that way about them.
7. Open when you have a free day. Plan a small day for them: a walk, a treat, a nap and a call with you.
8. Open when you finish something big. Write a short, happy letter of congratulations and slip in a sticker or a sweet as a prize.

Open when letters for missing each other

1. Open when you miss me. Put in a recent photo of you and describe one ordinary day together.
2. Open when you want to hear my voice. Write out what you would say on a call, then tell them the best time to ring you.
3. Open when you need a hug. Add a hug coupon to collect in person, and a drop of your perfume or cologne on the paper.
4. Open when you want to remember how we met. Tell the story from your side, including the parts you never said out loud.
5. Open when you’re looking at our photos. Pick one photo and write the story behind it.
6. Open when you wish I were next to you. Describe what you would be doing together right now, in small detail.
7. Open when you’re wearing my [shirt or hoodie]. A short, playful note about who it really belongs to.
8. Open when you forget why you love me. A short list of your best qualities, written with a wink.
9. Open when you’re at our favourite place. Write about [a spot you both love] and why you love it there.

Open when letters for long distance

1. Open when the distance feels too big. Write down the plan: the next visit, or the date the distance ends.
2. Open when we’ve just said goodbye. A letter for the first night after a visit, when the room feels too quiet.
3. Open when the time difference is hard. Write a little timetable of what you’re doing while they sleep.
4. Open when the call drops. A few paragraphs to read instead, because the network won tonight.
5. Open when you’re counting the days. List what you want to do on the first day you’re together again.
6. Open when everyone else seems to be together. Remind them that you are waiting too, and why it’s worth it to you.
7. Open when you’re booking your ticket. Tell them where you’ll stand at arrivals and what you’ll do when you see them.
8. Open when a visit gets cancelled. Comfort first, then a new plan, even a rough one.
9. Open when you doubt us. Write down what you are sure of, and the plan you made together.

Open when letters for milestones and dates

1. Open on your birthday. A birthday letter, a small candle to light, and a promise to celebrate properly together.
2. Open on our anniversary. Write about your first [date or year together] as you remember it.
3. Open on Valentine’s Day. A love letter with a pressed flower inside.
4. Open on New Year’s Eve. Your hopes for the two of you in the year ahead.
5. Open on [a festival you celebrate, like Christmas, Eid or Diwali]. Your favourite memory of that day, or what you would be doing together if you could.
6. Open on your first day at a new job or school. Encouragement, and a reminder to eat lunch.
7. Open on your graduation day. What you watched them do to get there, and how proud you are.
8. Open when you’re nervous. A few calm lines for the morning of [an interview, an exam or a big day].
9. Open on the first day of a new month. One thing to look forward to this month and one reason you love them. Our happy new month messages can help.
10. Open when you move into a new home. A note for the first night there, with a tea bag for the first cup.

Open when letters for nights you can’t sleep

1. Open when you can’t sleep. A slow, calm letter about a quiet day together where nothing much happens.
2. Open when you’ve had a bad dream. Remind them they’re safe, and say when you’ll be awake to answer a message.
3. Open when your mind won’t switch off. Ask them to write their worries on the back of the page and leave them there until morning.
4. Open when you’re lying awake missing me. Describe what bedtime is like when you’re together.
5. Open when you need a bedtime story. Make up a short story that stars the two of you.
6. Open when you’re worried about tomorrow. List what will still be true tomorrow, whatever happens, starting with how much you love them.
7. Open when it’s raining at night. Share a memory of a rainy day you spent together.
8. Open when you’re up late studying or working. Encouragement, and a firm, loving order to go to bed soon.

Fun open when letter ideas

1. Open when you need a laugh. Your worst jokes, plus the silliest moment you two have shared so far.
2. Open when you’re bored. A quiz about you, with the answers written on the back.
3. Open when you’re hungry. The recipe for something you cook together, or a voucher for a meal you’ll make them.
4. Open when you want to know a secret. Something small and sweet they don’t know about you yet.
5. Open when you need a song. A short list of songs that remind you of them, with one line on why for each.
6. Open when you want a date night. A plan for a date at a distance: same film, same time, same snack.
7. Open when you think you’re always right. A note admitting they won [a long-running argument], valid for one use only.
8. Open when you’re in a silly mood. A drawing of the two of you. The worse it is, the better.
9. Open when you want to plan our future. A list of places you want to go together, with space for them to add theirs.

8 example open when letters

These letters were written by the Love Letters 411 editorial team as examples. They are not letters from readers. Swap the parts in [brackets] for your own details.

Open when you miss me letter

Dear [Name],

If you’re reading this, you miss me. Good. I miss you too, probably at this exact minute.

Close your eyes for a second and go back to [an ordinary moment together, like Sunday mornings when you made tea and I stole the warm side of the bed]. That’s where I am in my head most days.

I know a photo isn’t the same as a hug. I put one in here anyway, so you have my face to look at until you can see the real one.

Count the days if it helps. I’m counting them here. [Number] more, and then I’m not letting go of you in a hurry.

All my love,
[Your name]

Open when you can’t sleep letter

Dear [Name],

It’s late and you’re still awake. Don’t pick up your phone yet. Read this slowly instead.

Turn your pillow to the cool side. Breathe in for four and out for four, the way we did [the night before your first flight].

Now picture a slow morning. Nobody has anywhere to be. I’m making breakfast badly and you’re telling me how to do it properly. The window is open and somewhere down the road a radio is playing.

That’s the whole story. Nothing happens in it. That’s the point.

Whatever kept you awake will look smaller in the morning. You’ll be my first thought when I wake up.

Goodnight, my love,
[Your name]

Open when you’ve had a bad day letter

Dear [Name],

I’m sorry today was hard. You don’t have to tell me what happened yet. Just read this first.

You have had bad days before, and you got through every one of them. I watched you get through [the months after you lost your job], and you came out of it kinder, not bitter. I’ve never forgotten that.

So here’s the plan. Eat something warm. Have a shower. Put on [the old T-shirt you love]. Then call me, even if it’s late, and tell me as much or as little as you want.

Tomorrow is a new day. Tonight, you’re allowed to just be tired.

Loving you on this day too,
[Your name]

Open when you need a laugh letter

Dear [Name],

Consider this an emergency laugh delivery. Please read it in your silliest voice.

Exhibit one: [the time you tried to impress me by cooking and set off the smoke alarm]. I still laugh about it in the shower.

Exhibit two: the face you make when you pretend you’re not ticklish. You are. We both know you are.

Exhibit three: me, sitting at a desk, trying very hard to be funny on paper. Picture it. That should do it.

If none of that worked, call me. I’ll do [the impression you always ask for], and I won’t even make you beg.

Laughing with you, always,
[Your name]

Open on our anniversary letter

Dear [Name],

Happy anniversary. [Number] years ago today, I stood in front of everyone we love and made you a promise. I meant it then. I mean it more now.

We have had good years and hard ones. [The year we lived in the tiny flat with the leaking roof] still comes back to me often. We had very little except each other, and some of my favourite memories come from that time.

You have changed in all the best ways. You’re braver now, and you laugh louder. I like to think I helped with the laughing.

If I’m not with you today, I’m sorry. Wherever I am, I’m thinking about you, and when I’m home we will celebrate properly.

Here’s to the next year, and every one after it.

Yours, always,
[Your name]

Open when you doubt us letter

Dear [Name],

If you’re opening this, something has made you unsure. Maybe it was a missed call, a quiet week, or someone telling you long distance never lasts.

I can’t stop you from worrying. But I can tell you what I know.

I know I chose you, and I’d make the same choice today. I know that good news still doesn’t feel real until I’ve told you. I know that [the plan we made, like moving to the same city next year] is still the plan.

Doubt doesn’t mean we’re failing. It means this matters to both of us.

So when you’ve read this, send me a message that just says “open when”. I’ll know what it means, and I’ll call.

Still sure about us,
[Your name]

Short open when you’re nervous letter

Dear [Name],

Breathe. You’ve prepared for [the interview or the exam], and you’re ready, even if it doesn’t feel like it.

Walk in like the person I see every day: clever, calm and kind.

I’m proud of you already. Call me after.

Cheering for you,
[Your name]

Open when we’ve had a fight letter

Dear [Name],

I wrote this on a good day, so you would have it on a bad one.

If we’ve just argued, I’m probably sulking somewhere or pretending to be busy. Whatever my share of it was, I’m sorry. I can usually guess, and it’s usually [my temper, or me not listening properly].

So hold on to this. One fight doesn’t undo [the night you drove across town because I was sick]. It doesn’t undo everything we’ve built. We are bigger than one bad conversation.

Take an hour if you need it. Then come and find me, or let me come and find you. I’d rather be close to you than right.

Always on your side,
[Your name]

More for long-distance love

A set of open when letters covers the big moments. For the days in between, these may help:

• Long distance relationship love letters, our guide to writing one longer letter for someone far away
• Missing you messages, short texts for the gaps between letters
• Long love messages, for when one line of text can’t hold it all
• Distance, a reader’s letter written as the miles between them were about to grow, which borrows words from Romanian and French to name the ache of missing someone

You can read more letters sent in by readers in our long distance love letters.

Frequently asked questions

How long should an open when letter be?

Most read best at under a page. The letter is often opened at a hard or busy moment, so short and clear is kinder than long. Save your longest letter for a big date, like a birthday or an anniversary.

Can I make open when letters for a friend or family member?

Yes. They work for anyone you love who is far away or going through a hard time, such as a best friend moving abroad, a child starting university or a parent in hospital. Change the labels to suit them, for example "open when you miss home".

Can I send open when letters online instead of on paper?

You can type them and send each one as an email or a file, with the label as the subject or file name. Paper is nicer to hold and keep, and harder to open early by accident. If post is slow where they live, a mix of both works well.

What if they open a letter at the wrong time?

It happens, and it isn't a disaster. Most letters still mean something on a different day. If a dated letter gets opened early, write a short new one to replace it and take it as a sign they couldn't wait.