Pick one that fits the stage you are in, write four or five sentences from it, and you have a draft. Most of them work as opening lines too.
Early days, the first three to twelve months
New relationships do not need long letters. They need honest ones. Keep these short, half a page is plenty.
- Write about the moment you first thought “this might be something.” The specific second, not the general idea.
- Write the three small things you have already started doing differently because of them. Not big things, small ones.
- Write about something they said in the first month that you have been thinking about since.
If you are at this stage, the page on the first love letter lowers the stakes further.
Committed, the in between years
You are past the early stuff, you are not married. This is where most people stop writing letters and pick up texts. Write one anyway.
- Name the moment in the last six months when you knew you wanted to keep going.
- Write about the small habit they have that other people would find annoying and you have come to love.
- Write the letter that says “I am not going anywhere” without using the word forever.
- Pick one thing they did this year that you have never said thank you for properly.
Married, or living together long term
Letters between long term partners are the ones that get kept the longest. Skip the wedding speech voice. Write the way you actually talk to them in the kitchen.
- Write about an ordinary Tuesday this month. Not an anniversary, not a holiday. A Tuesday.
- Pick one part of the last year that was hard and name what they did to help you through it.
- Write the letter you would write if you knew they would find it in twenty years.
- Name three small things they do that you would miss the second they stopped.
The hub on love letters to my husband has more examples of letters in this stage.
Long distance, or apart for a while
Letters across distance carry more weight because the format matches the situation. The person is reading you from somewhere else.
- Write about the last thing you saw that made you wish they were there.
- Pick a memory from before the distance started and write about it as if it happened yesterday.
- Name three things you are looking forward to doing with them the next time you are in the same room.
The love letters to my boyfriend hub includes long distance examples.
Making up, after an argument or a long silence
The making up letter is one of the hardest to get right. Keep it short, keep it honest, do not relitigate.
- Open with the line you wish you had said in the room, not the line you wish you had not said.
- Write about what the silence has cost you, in one sentence, not three paragraphs.
- End with a question they can answer with a yes or a no, not a question that asks them to forgive you on the spot.
Saying goodbye
The goodbye letter is also a love letter. Name what the relationship was, name why it is ending, wish them well, and stop.
- Write about the version of yourself you became while you were together, and what you are taking with you.
- Pick three things you are grateful for from the relationship, and do not put a “but” after any of them.
- End with a wish for their next chapter, not a promise about yours.
For longer guidance on this shape, see the page on breakup letters.
Never sent
Some letters exist for the writer. The reader may have left, may have died, may not know you exist. The letter still counts.
- Write the letter you would have sent if you had been braver at the time.
- Write to someone who is gone. Tell them what you have done since, and what you wish you had said.
None of these need to be sent. The act of writing one is the part that matters most. Some of the most quoted love letters in history, like the Keats letters to Fanny Brawne that Maria Popova writes about, were never meant to be read by anyone other than the person they were addressed to. They got kept anyway.
How to use these ideas
Pick one. Set a ten minute timer. Write whatever comes. Do not stop, do not edit, do not look back.
When the timer goes off, look at what you have. Cut anything that sounds like a greeting card. Keep the lines that sound like you talking. That is the first draft of the letter.
If you want a frame to put the draft inside, read how to write a love letter. If you need help getting started at all, the page on getting in the mood to write covers seven rituals that work. For longer guided drafting, the writing prompts for love letters gives you thirty prompts grouped by theme.
Frequently asked questions
What is the easiest love letter idea to start with?
The Tuesday letter. Write about an ordinary day in the last month, name something small the person did or said, and stop. Four sentences is enough. Easy is good here. Easy is how you finish the letter.
How do I pick which idea fits my relationship?
Match the stage. New relationships need the early days prompts, long marriages need the married prompts. Picking an idea above your stage produces letters that sound like they are reaching, and picking one below your stage produces letters that sound too small for what you actually have.
Can I combine two ideas in one letter?
You can, but you usually should not. One idea, one letter, one moment. Combining two pulls the letter toward a list. The strength of a love letter is its focus. Save the second idea for another letter next month.
What if none of these ideas land for me?
Write the letter you would write if you knew the person would never read it. Whatever you would say in that letter is what you should say in the real one. The idea that scared you slightly the most is usually the right one.
Read more about how we host and lightly edit submissions in our editorial standards.
Leave a Reply