Why a template helps, and where it stops
Most people freeze at the first line. A template gets you past that. It gives the page a beginning, a middle, and an end so you can stop thinking about structure and start thinking about the person.
Use the frame, then put it down. The bits that matter are the small, true details only you know. The template cannot write those for you, and that is the point.
The five part frame
1. Open with the moment, not the feeling
Name where you are or what you were just doing. “It is late and the house is quiet” works. “I was thinking about you on the train home” works. The reader can picture you straight away.
2. Three specific memories
Pick three things only the two of you would understand. A joke. A meal. A song that came on in the car. Three is the rhythm. More than that and the letter starts to drift.
3. What you want them to know
One sentence. “I love you,” “I miss you,” “I am proud of you,” “I am sorry.” Say it plainly. If you can say it without a metaphor, do.
4. A quiet close
End on a soft note rather than a punchy one. A wish for them, a thank you, a line about tomorrow. Not a grand summary.
5. Sign it the way you talk
If you call them by a pet name in real life, use it. If you sign texts with your initial, use that. The signature should sound like you walking out of the room.
How to start when the words won’t come
Write the date and the place first. “Tuesday, kitchen table.” It sounds small but it tells your brain you have already started.
Write to one specific moment. Not the relationship. Not the future. One Tuesday. One drive. One thing they said that you have been carrying around.
Read it out loud once. If a sentence sounds like a greeting card, cut it. If it sounds like the way you actually speak to them at the kitchen sink, keep it.
Leave the letter for an hour, then come back. Fix typos. Do not polish the feeling out of it.
Examples to borrow from
These are letters in the same shape, written for different people and reasons.
- Read Handwritten Love Letter, on why writing it by hand changes what you say.
- Read Love Letters to My Husband, for everyday letters to the person who is already home.
- Read Love Letters to My Boyfriend, when the relationship is new and you want to say more than a text can.
- Read Valentines Day Love Letter, for a date when a card is not enough.
- Read Love Letter Quotes, when you want a line to start with and your own words to follow.
- Read Breakup Letters, for the harder shape of a letter that is also a goodbye.
What to avoid
- Long words you would never say out loud.
- Quotes from poets in place of your own line.
- Three memories that are really just one memory said three ways.
- Apologising for the letter inside the letter.
- Ending with a question that needs a reply. A love letter is a gift, not a test.
Frequently asked questions
How long should a love letter be?
Between one short page and two. Long enough to feel like you sat down on purpose. Short enough that they will read it twice. If it is going past two pages, you are probably writing two letters.
Should I write the template by hand or type it?
Type the draft if it helps you think. Then write the final by hand if you can. Handwriting slows you down and the slower you go, the more the small honest lines come out. If your handwriting is hard to read, print it on nice paper and sign by hand.
What if I am not a writer?
Good. Most of the best letters on this site are not by writers. They are by people who sat down and said what they meant. Use the frame, keep your sentences short, and trust that the person reading it knows you.
Can I use this template for a friend or a parent?
Yes. The frame works for any kind of love. Swap the romantic line in step three for what fits, “I am glad I got you as a sister,” “thank you for raising me,” “I do not say this enough.” The rest of the structure holds.
What do I do with the letter once it is written?
Hand it over, post it, or leave it somewhere they will find it. If you cannot send it, that is allowed too. Letters that are never sent still count. Keep it in a drawer for the day you can.
Keep reading
Further reading
For a short history of where the love letter as a form comes from, the Wikipedia entry on the love letter traces the shape of the genre across cultures and centuries.
The five part frame on this page is one of many, but the shape itself is older than any template. Letter writers have been opening with the moment, naming what they feel, and signing off softly for a very long time.
Read more about how we host and lightly edit submissions in our editorial standards.
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