Why the day is the hard part
Valentines Day comes with a script. Red, hearts, roses, forever. The script makes most letters sound identical. The way out is to write less about the day and more about the year you have just had together.
The card on the mantelpiece is what makes the date official. The letter inside is what makes it real.
How to start when the words won’t come
Skip the date in the first line. “Happy Valentines Day” is fine on the envelope. Inside, start with something that has nothing to do with 14 February. A moment from last week. A meal you made. A look they gave you when they thought you were not paying attention.
Pick one thing about the past year. Not a list of every nice thing. One. The trip you took, the year you got through, the hard winter, the new house. One thing, named clearly, lands harder than a list.
Say what you want them to know in plain words. “I am glad it is you.” “I would do this year again.” “I love being on your team.” Skip the rhyming. Skip the sweeping.
Close with a small plan for the year ahead. Not a grand promise. A walk you want to take, a place you want to visit, a habit you want to keep. Something they can hold onto after the day is over.
Examples to borrow from
Letters written for 14 February by people in long and new relationships.
- Read the Love Letter Template, for the basic frame on any date.
- Read First Valentines Letter, written six months in.
- Read Valentines Letter, Year Twenty Two, a wife to a husband she still likes.
- Read Valentines Letter Across an Ocean, for a couple who could not be in the same room that night.
- Read After the Hard Year, written when the relationship had been through it.
- Read Love Letter Quotes, for borrowed opening lines that fit the day.
If you forgot until the morning of 14 February
Write it anyway. A short letter handwritten over breakfast beats a long card bought on the way home from work. The fact that you sat down and did it is half of what makes it land.
Four or five sentences is plenty. Name one thing about the last year, one thing you love about them now, and one wish for the year ahead. Sign it and leave it on the kitchen table.
The Valentines letter you almost did not write is often the one your partner keeps. Late is better than skipped.
What to avoid
- Rhyming. A Valentines letter that rhymes turns into a card immediately.
- The word “forever” more than once.
- Quoting Shakespeare in the first paragraph.
- Pretending the year was easier than it was.
- Buying a card and copying your letter inside it. Use a sheet of plain paper and let the card be the card.
Frequently asked questions
What do you write in a Valentines Day love letter?
Open with something specific from your life together this past year, not the date. Name one shared memory and what it meant to you. Say one plain thing you want them to know. Close with a small wish or plan for the year ahead. Sign it with whatever name they call you at home.
Should I write a Valentines letter if we have only been together a few months?
Yes, and keep it short. A four sentence letter in a new relationship is more honest than a page of promises. Write about how you feel right now, not where you think the relationship is going. New love does not need to perform certainty it does not have.
What if my partner does not really do Valentines Day?
Write the letter and skip the rest. Many people who roll their eyes at the date still read the letter twice. Leave the roses, leave the dinner reservation, just write what you would write any other Tuesday and hand it over on 14 February.
Is it better to give the letter in the morning or evening?
Morning. A letter at breakfast sets the tone for the day. A letter at the end of a long Valentines dinner can feel like an add on. If you forget in the morning, leave it on their pillow for them to find at bedtime instead.
Keep reading
Further reading
For the long view on Valentines letters and the writers who shaped the form, see the BBC’s history of the most famous love letters. From Napoleon to Frida Kahlo, the date is the same, the format is the same, and the writers all do one thing: they make the letter about the person, not the day.
If you are sitting down to write yours and the card is still on the kitchen counter, that piece is a good five minute reset. Write less about 14 February and more about the year you just had.
Read more about how we host and lightly edit submissions in our editorial standards.
Leave a Reply