by Mary Beth
Dear Sean,
Really, really, really missing you so much today. When you moved away I wanted to climb in that truck and drive away with the rest of your belongings. Not being together, but still being a couple, is a struggle. But we have survived hardships before. Going through them together is how we made it, so we will weather this.
Until we can be physically together, we have to make this long distance thing work. I love you wherever you are, but for sure being in the same place is best. I can get my hands on you that way. My heart is hurting a bit. The separation feels like a wound sometimes. I was prepared for the emotional pain but I’m surprised missing you is so physical.
Yesterday, I decided to bring back the old-fashioned love letter, hoping you will too. It makes me feel so much better when I write about how much I love you and how much I miss you. It makes me feel closer to you physically somehow. Is that crazy?
Our great grandparents would wait weeks for their letters to reach each other.
You know I’ve never been great at expressing myself, but with you away things have changed. Maybe it’s because I have more time on my hands to think, or maybe it’s because I miss you terribly but I’m starting to chip away at those walls that have been up for so long. Your being away scares me sometimes, and I panic that my inability to truly express my feelings will hurt us now.
When we’re together I can physically show you how I feel. Like when I caress the back of your neck as you’re driving, or grab your hand as we take a walk, or cuddle you fiercely all night long. Now I only have words and that’s what terrifies me. But I must be strong and content to maintain our connection in any way possible.
The best part of my day is when I get to talk to you and catch up. In a few moments, you make me feel like no time has passed, no distance lay between us.
I miss you madly, and hope that you are happy even though we aren’t together. I want to make us work so that we stay the happy couple we were the day you moved.
I want nothing to change, except that we get closer and our love grows stronger. I will do everything in my power to make that happen.
I need to feel your arms wrapped around me. To see your smiling face with those wonderful eyes looking back at me. And until that can be in person, I will enjoy our special ways to communicate. It may not be ideal but it’s what we have and I need to appreciate and celebrate it. Like our ancestors, we have to accept what is, and make the best of our situation.
Hurry up and come back to me, or I will travel there. Until then – you have my heart and soul longing for your touch.
Kissing your photo now.
Love,
Mary Beth
