Secret Love Letters

By ‘Au’

I love you, this may sound absurd but I’ve loved for a long time now, ever since our childhood I guess.

I don’t know when it was that I started falling for you but all I know is that now I don’t think I can ignore these feelings any longer.

I was always happy whenever you were with me, I liked how you smiled, how you laughed, even when you were frustrated or angry.

You were my source of happiness and joy.  I always looked forward to your visit, I always wanted to spend more and more time with you…. But I knew that was not possible and slowly the distance between us increased and it made my heart feel lonely.

I started thinking about the next time I could meet you all the while feeling nostalgic thinking about you. It was then when I realised I love you, always had and always will.

I even started praying that if I could see you even just one more time that would be enough for my heart.

Sometimes when my parents talked about visiting you I felt overjoyed but that plan would later be cancelled, yet I still hoped that someday soon I will see you again and fall for you even more…..

Then we met again when you came to visit after so many years, my heart lit up like a Christmas Tree.

I tried to muster up the courage to try to talk to you (I felt anxious) and when I did, we had a conversation after so long… I just wished for time to stop and that moment to last forever… your smile, your eyes even your voice were all so pretty that I just wanted all of that for myself.

I treasured our conversation for I knew that it would not last forever. I felt motivated somehow and looked forward to our time together.

That time of your visit was truly blissful and when you were leaving I had bitter sweet feelings, I was happy to have met you and talked to you again but the thought that I don’t know when I will  see you again ached my heart.

Nevertheless we still remained in touch and that was good enough for me.

Our chats were full of fun, we shared our problems with each other although there wasn’t much I could do to help you.

I just started praying for your happiness and that you keep on smiling genuinely. I was happy but these feelings, I cannot contain them any more. I just want to you know that even though you are so far away my feelings for you could never change.

I love you from the bottom of my heart and nothing will ever change that.


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