by Amy (Toronto)
I never thought our story would be over, but it is. We’ve said goodbye. I thought and hoped we would last forever. I didn’t see this as our future.
I still believe we are soul mates. Losing you feels like losing a part of me. I will always love you, miss you, want you.
I am in so much pain right now that I actually dream of a time in the future when missing you won’t hurt so much. I cherish our good memories and hope those always stay on my mind. Time and distance will help heal this wound.
Our breakup makes me sad because of all that you are. And who we became as a couple.
There are aspects of our time together that I will continue to celebrate. You taught me a lot. Your compassion for animals was one of the things that I loved about you. The first time I saw you holding a baby, the gentle way you spoke, the concern for their comfort—is the moment I knew I loved you.
How those early days went from awesome to nightmare, I don’t know. I only know that we hurt each other in the end.
I won’t blame either one of us for doing things that ultimately destroyed us.
Although I will focus on the positive, it’s the mistakes we made along the way, that are the lessons that sting the most. I struggle with wondering whether the bad memories will fade and allow me to remember the good.
When I decided to move on, I was afraid. It meant I was losing us and therefore losing you. Will I find someone as wonderful as you? I hope so.
I imagine that they’ll come into the relationship with scars just like me. We will probably compare battle stories. Since I am stronger from my time with you, I will hope that the next person is as well.
I do want you to know that you are a great person. We weren’t right, but that doesn’t mean you’re not right for someone else.
Again, I wish this weren’t the case, but I wanted to write you and tell you that above all else—I love you.
Just writing this has helped me come closer to a place where I admire our time together. A patch of rocky road makes us appreciate the smooth miles ahead.