by Donna (London, UK)
I want a man who’ll visit me in the middle of the night because he can’t wait to see me. To hold me in his arms to fall sleep. To be proud of me and introduce me to his friends and family, to accept mine.
I want to have relationships with the important people in his life, and him mine.
I want us to blend but equally have our independence.
I want to make a home with him, pictures from our travels up on the walls. I want a best friend, someone to feel so comfortable around and grow and develop alongside him.
I want to look forward to that evening and our years ahead. I want to feel relaxed and pretty. I want to tear off his clothes and have him stroke me afterwards, listening to my body and responding to me.
I want him to make me feel individual – like he’s not met anyone like me before. I want a life partner who might be the father of my child or joint owner of pets.
I want him to be buff and squeezy in jeans and trainers. I want to sit in a pub or park, or walk to reminisce, no formalities.
I want him to willingly visit my godchildren and maybe make them laugh, and for me to do the same for the people in his.
A twinkle in his eye. To find me a small present, just because. Or an expensive one because I’m important to him. I want to blush and say you didn’t have to honey. And I want to find special things for him that he couldn’t find for himself.
I want to support him in his hobbies and improve his relationships in any way I can.
I want to know deep down he loves me and that he would spend every second with me if he could, everything else can wait and do the same for him.
I want to know I won’t be alone if I don’t want to be, and to message his friends to organise his birthday party if he’s too shy to.
I want to walk around naked with him in the house and shout out to another room, reconnect.
I want him to read my messages as if they were so important to him. I want to care for him and love him like he has never felt possible.
This story has a happy ending… this is a letter I wrote to myself in a relationship offering me the opposite of what I was writing, that ended far too slowly.
Then just over two years later, I’d found the man I imagined and wrote about!
I discovered this on my iPad in a hidden note, and sent it to him today, Valentines, 2020. He agrees this is what we have together. It seems surreal.
We’ve just spent an amazing 7 months together, back from an idyllic trip to the most exotic Tanzanian island, Zanzibar, and have so many plans for the future.
There is hope! Sending love to fellow romantics out there.