by Boygene (Nairobi, Kenya)
Dear Grace Mwaura
My heart is dying thinking of you every day, to have your presence close. I have tried to keep it still but I can’t go on anymore.
The sound and the touch of your name as it pops out of my lips makes my heart restless. Don’t blame me, please, it’s the matter of the heart.
If I had power over my heart, I still wouldn’t have commanded it to shut up. Do you know why? Because I have never seen such a beautiful maiden as you. You surpass all creatures of known beauty.
I verily understand within the deepest chambers of my mind that it is strange to confess my love for you this yet I have always missed the gracefully placed opportunities to declare this love to you, face to face. I pray to thee, that you forgive my confidence, I am not that strong when it comes to the matters of love.
Don’t mistake me, my beloved, my heart is stronger than Samson though it is easily conquered every time my eyes are set on you.
I have always dreamt of the day when you will actually know the truth my heart has always been burdened me with, this truth of my love for you.
I can’t deny it.
It’s like the morning dew, you can’t deny it its presence. I love you my dear Grace. What more do I have to say? You may not believe it, but it’s the absolute truth. You may ignore it, but it’s a fact.
I have tried to lend my heart to another, but I couldn’t hold on anymore. I tried again, but it all ended in vain. My heart always pushed me toward you. It’s like I am caged and bound to love you only.
Please, these are not lies. God is my witness.
It’s my desire, that though this letter may not be charming and seductive to your heart, you will find my words to be true and trustworthy. I know we may not have met yet, but I request with deep kindness and humility that this letter may be the bridge to our meeting.
Please don’t harden your heart for me, I will devoutly surrender everything, if that pleases you, just to have you in my life.
What benefit would I have if I had all the things and I lost you? Nothing. I will remain to wallow in pain and sorrow, and my life will be a river of regrets which my soul is not ready to endure. I refuse to be a thorn to myself.
May you not be silent, when you receive this letter, even if it doesn’t gladden your heart, please send me the feedback. I fear silence because silence is like hellfire, it burns both the body and the soul.
I love you, Grace, even if you can’t love me.
Your beloved, Boygene