I literally wrote this on the night before valentines, we both know how bad I am at putting my feelings and thoughts into words so I swear it gets better the more you read on. (If you’re laughing at any point of reading this letter you’re the worst :<)
I don’t really know if I’ve ever actually told you this before, but as crazy as it sounds, I’ve never been more grateful to God for blessing me with this pandemic so I could have the chance to meet an angel like you.
You know before I met you, I could say I was at my all time lows. I’ve always struggled with self acceptance since being a kid and it got worst over the years when I didn’t make past most relationships. And like I’ve told you before, previous relationships broke so much to the point I didn’t feel like I deserved to be loved at all, I was told I was hard to love and will not be accepted by most.
I believed that, and because I couldn’t accept myself for the way I am, I’ve always allowed others to treat me poorly even when I knew it wasn’t right. So when I first got introduced to you, oh God you should have seen how nervous I was. I never thought we would just click so easily.
I loved every second we talked.
As we talked over the months, I’ve showed you some of the most vulnerable parts of me that I never knew I could show anyone comfortably, and you never seemed to run out of patience with me.
I was never one to overshare parts of me that weren’t that pretty, but you made me feel like I wasn’t judged and the flaws that I hated myself for weren’t as bad as I thought they were.
You make me feel safe, even when you’re busy. I’ve never felt like I was alone no matter how bad days were. Although there were still times where I didn’t know how to tell you the things I was feeling, you understood me and that alone calmed me down more than words could ever.
I wasn’t raised to speak of my feelings openly, so when I feel them it overwhelms me so much that all I could do is breakdown or go in complete silence.
And I know I’m not the best at remembering tiny details but I always remember the things like how your day went and the events that you were upset about. Because I feel it too when you tell me about your feelings and thoughts.
I’m a far better listener than I could ever be as a speaker. Although most of the time I’ll go quiet when you speak, and you would have to ask me if I’m still listening… sweetheart of course I am.
You’re my favorite person, if I could I’d just want to stare at you all day on your lap while you talk. I’ve never felt more at home with anyone as I felt with you in the short span we’ve known each other, it warms my heart every time I think of that.
The way I’m always laughing at your texts and that I feel the bubbliest when we talk, I don’t even know how I could be so attracted to a person mentally and physically.
Talking to you never feels forced and you always made sure we spent enough time before going to bed. Oh God, those dumb little rants you have daily, they never fail to make my days complete.
You’re so beautiful to me, you don’t even know that, I feel like luckiest girl alive to call you mine.
Shoutout to you my love, you may have this tough front you put on everyday when you’re out and about, and I am the proudest when you do that. But please keep in mind that you, my sweetheart don’t have to be the toughest man when you’re with me.
So whenever you’re exhausted and completely beat, just know that I’m more than happy to just be with you and stay with you baby until you feel okay again.
You’ll always be my tiny softie, no matter how you feel. I promise you we’ll somehow navigate through life together.
I love you, sweetheart.
Happy Valentine’s Day to my one and only forever