Jonathan (United Kingdom)
I have so many things I want to say and saying sorry is not enough.
I want the world to know how much I love you and how sorry I am for tearing us apart. I am making this public so everyone knows that it was me that ruined our relationship and that it was me that did not treat you like a queen.
I have done wrong and I cannot change any of it.
I only ask that you see me now for the person I have become. I have destroyed myself. I cannot wake in the morning as I do not have you by my side. I cannot be happy because you are no longer there to make me smile.
That day that we met in Belfast I had so many feelings for you instantly. I knew that one day I wanted to call you my wife.
When we found out that we were going to be parents my heart was racing. I thought to myself that I had finally found the rest of my life in you. Every second of every day that we were together my heart raced because I knew you loved me.
When you kissed me in the morning and held me close I would shed a tear without you knowing. I cannot forgive myself for pushing you away and treating you the way I did. So I do not expect you to forgive me but to see this man before you and see what it has done to him. I hurt you and my punishment was that it came back to hurt me more.
I know that forgiveness is hard for you after everything we have been through but please know this.
You have made me the happiest man alive. You gave me a family and you said you loved me. Then when I finally asked you to marry me you said yes. I cannot stop loving you as you have gave me so many happy memories. I wish and hope that one day you will realise that I can be a better person and I only hope that there is some love left in you for me.
I would never do anything to ruin our relationship again.
I wish we can go back to the start and be happy and love each other again. I miss everything about you. I miss watching you put your make-up on in the morning. I miss watching you as you sleep. I miss sitting down to watch our favourite shows together. I miss our little nights out every now and then. I miss your little habits you have. And I miss your smile, but most of all I miss your voice telling me you love me.
I only ever want to love you and our precious daughter.
I don’t want a life of misery where I don’t have you. I want to hold your hand again. I want to hold you close on cold winter nights. I want to keep you safe even when there is nothing wrong. I want to take care of you when you fall sick. I want help you in every way I can.
I love you Chantelle and I always will. xoxoxoxo