Love Letters to Him

by Francis C.

Dear Roro,

I am not that good with writing, so bear with me. Hahahaha.

First, I want to greet you a very happy birthday, Roro. If there was only an opportunity to be with you on this day, I would have commuted to Antipolo first thing in the morning. But I know our circumstances would not let us be together for now. I want to write you this letter instead.

I still remember the first time we met. It was a quiet Tuesday morning. You just got out of the Church and I just got up for the day, waiting for my first subject to begin. Thinking I have plenty of time, I opened my phone to quickly meet someone, and would not you know it, you were the one that I found.

We hit it off, introduced ourselves, and instantly, we clicked. Every minute with you that morning was lovely.

What caught me by surprise is asking for my Facebook account, which I gave without second-guessing. Who would give out his account to a guy he just met?

But I did not care at the time, what I just thought about is how much fun I had with this guy. I trusted my gut and it paid off

Well, at least it paid off when we met again last February. I know you were still with someone when we met, and you had your own issues back then, and while it hurt me at that time when you gave me radio silence for a few weeks, I understood, forgave and trusted you again, and it is one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Bliss is the word to describe the first nights we were together, from our long walks around UP to our heart to heart talks on the Sunken Garden.

One of the best memories I have with you is the comfortable silence while you drive off the night, my head on your shoulder, hands holding together, while Ben & Ben’s “Fall” played in the background. In my head, I did not care that we were just going around circles in UP. I was with someone special, someone that made me feel special.

Though I must admit, I was reluctant at first. I tried to be casual, I tried to be cool. I put down myself in my head: “Why would this guy fall in love with me? I am out of his league, and I am sure many guys out there are better choices than me. Was there no one else to kiss?”

Nevertheless, you stayed by my side, and slowly, I fell in love.

At first, I tried to keep it for myself. I was still scared that I would get hurt. I was confused because no one ever had mutual feelings with me. My overthinking tendencies made me insecure as if I was waiting for the day you would leave me. But you chose to sit with me while I was in my hell, you stayed even in my most irrational and immature moments. You were my shoulder to cry on. I was yours and you were mine.

Even after months that we were apart, you never grew tired of me and my constant nagging in your messages. You showed that love is present even at a distance, and I am forever grateful that you chose to express that love to me.

I thank you for teaching me to be better and kinder. It is like you cleared my clouded mind whenever I am with you. You make me want to put an effort to make the world a better place. I know that we have only been together for a few months, heck, we are only official for exactly a month! But the time I spent being with you trumps all of the past infatuations I felt. I never thought I would be so happy to be someone’s love.

It made me think, if it was not for the lock-down, we would have made a plethora of memories right now, traveling and trying new things as a couple, experiencing how ecstatic we would be together. But for now, I would rather take those moments of online conversations that we had than not be with you at all.

You are more than just a name in a message. You are a loving feeling I get whenever I see you reply to my thoughts.

Like the tattoo on your sleeve, you are an eagle, unafraid to soar the skies and face adversities. I know up above, your father is proud to have a son as great and courageous as you.

I know I am not the most romantic guy out there, it took me weeks to be vulnerable with you. But let me say that I love you, and you are the best thing that happened to me this 2020.

I am so lucky to have you. You mean so much to me, more than you know.

It might seem early, but I am eagerly looking forward to what time has in store for us. I love you bb! Happy Birthday. I hope that you accept this small love letter that I wrote to you. <3



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