by ‘B’ (Johannesburg)
To my partner, my best friend, my person….
Been doing a lot of thinking recently and a few things have become crystal clear to me. The first of these being that I can’t imagine a life without you by my side.
Every scenario I play out regarding the future has you right there front and center and I can’t get away from that. It’s been more than 18 months we’ve been apart but I still FEEL you as being a part of me… the very best part of me!
I think back to when we first met…I honestly thought you were the most beautiful goddess I ever laid eyes on! And you know what? That hasn’t changed at all. Every time I see you my heart kinda for the two step because you still take my breath away!
Your smile can light up a room. Your warm, loving presence has a way of calming me that you will never understand.
Our time in Cape Town was magical wasn’t it? Two young lovers able to be together without any outside pressure on us. This time of reflection has shown me that my happiest moments in my life all had you at the center of it.
Our amazing wedding day when I vowed to love you through good times and bad times, sickness and health, for better…. or for worse. Those words were a promise I made to you and I feel like I’ve let you down.
Life sure has thrown us some sh*t…. But I see now that none of it, none of what we’ve been through that has seemingly pulled us apart has excluded us from the vows I made to you.
We had the ‘better’ and the ‘health’ for so long but as soon as the ‘worse’, the ‘sickness’ came along I decided to throw in the towel. I let you down and I’ll never forgive myself for that.
Our partnership has also given us the two most precious gifts, nine and seven years ago respectively. I look into their eyes and all I can think about is that I’ve been selfish!
THEY deserve to grow up in the loving home they have grown accustom to.
We’ve disrupted their little worlds with our decisions and I take full responsibility for that. I made a promise to myself that I will always give them the best in life and put them first.
They are happiest when we are together and they still hold on to the hope that this will one day be a reality.
So this is me…. Your B, your friend, your partner, your lover…. kneeling in front of you, and asking that we start over.
Do me the honor of joining me for dinner… that’s all I ask.
Let’s make the effort to reconnect babe! I am willing! Not just for our kids sake, but for ours.
We’ve made some pretty hasty decisions in the past that we regret…. Let’s not make the biggest mistake of our lives. I love you!
Always and forever!